NIGERIAN, MUSLIM AND DIVORCED

Divorce is one of the hardest balls life can throw at a person but the ball hits harder when you are Nigerian and Muslim.

Getting divorced is already hard as a woman, but having to deal with the stereotypes and side eyes that comes with people (Nigerians and the Muslim community) finding out about it, ugh...... So If I was never grateful for the fact that I do not belong to any Nigerian community, this moment in my life made me realize  how blessed I am cos I cannot even begin to imagine how much explanations I'd have to give to people who most likely do not even matter in my life. So alhamdulillah for that.

I left my marriage early this year 2020 and even though it was the hardest decision I've had to make, I think it was the best I've made for myself in a while.

Has it been easy? Nope

Do I have my families support? Yes and no. Some of them still think I'm crazy cos how do you explain my sister still asking me 'how is your husband' almost a year later? Lol, probably still think it's not possible or "we can't allow her do that". 

Anyways, at 18yrs old I already knew that I wanted to be married by 25 even tho I hadn't even had a boyfriend girlfriend relationship experience but I knew when I wanted to marry and alhamdulillah, it happened but I didn't know it was going to be a short one.

I'm here in the US, my entire family is in Lagos Nigeria which means I had to go through this phase of my life alone. I cannot even begin to explain how hard it was for me to go through it alone. This is 7months later and I've still not completely processed everything that happened leading me to where I am at this moment.

I have a lot of things to say about my experience but I'm not going to bore you with that right now. 

I do want you to know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a divorced woman. If Allah made it halal for us he definitely knew that things can happen between Married couple That could make the marriage fall apart and since He is a very loving God, he doesn't  want us to stay in a situation that's making us more miserable than happy, hence why divorce is permissible in Islam. 

Therefore if as a divorced woman you come across anyone that tries to make you feel like a failure for leaving a marriage that's doing more harm to you than good, remember that they are not God and If HE agrees with your decision, what these people think about you do not matter. So go forth into the world of relationships again and prosper.....lol. Kidding. Make sure you heal first before you venture into the dating scene again.

Ps: life after divorce post coming soon, so subscribe.

SALAM!!!